Pending eviction notice

In the last two days I’ve received two promotional emails (in case anyone is interested one from pampers and one from Bounty – the uk baby brand not the chocolate!) congratulating me on the arrival of my newborn. Except he isn’t here yet and therefore I don’t appreciate receiving them! 

Baby B is clearly far too comfortable in there, and now a week overdue.  I’ve had 3 acupuncture sessions in the last week to try to get things moving. In the first my acupuncturist said baby was more than ready, my body just wasn’t ready to let go yet.  Maybe because for so long through pregnancy you just want to keep your little one safe and well inside you, and you pray that this time there will be no miscarriage, so your body is conditioned to keep them in? Saying that I’ve felt more than ready for him to be born for a long time now.. I just want to meet my son in person! February just seems to have dragged along, it is the strangest feeling just waiting and wondering each morning “is today the day?!”  It’s like life is on hold. Anyway, by the third session yesterday the acupuncturist said my body was gearing up now – and about time too, as if it doesn’t hurry up on its own, tomorrow is induction day! 

The acupuncture was a funny experience as these times she attached like mini car jump leads to some of the needles and passed a current through them, just to give some extra oomph to try to get things going!

Tuesday I saw a midwife.. I can’t say “my” midwife as I still haven’t seen the same lady twice through this process! Although there is hope the one I saw on Tuesday will be the one to visit me at home once little one is here, which would be good as she seemed really nice. Anyway she gave me a membrane sweep which was absolutely fine and not as uncomfortable as a smear..or maybe it’s just having gone through IVF I’m more de-sensitised now to such invasive things! She said I was 2cm dilated, which is something I guess, and shows at least things are going in the right direction. 

Yesterday I really thought might be THE day. I had slept badly as I just couldn’t get comfortable, as well as being up zillions of times for the loo, and I just felt groggy and “off”. I was getting some different twinges and sensations in my belly, and a few more braxton hicks type tightenings than usual.  I spent the afternoon bouncing on my Pilates ball whilst finishing knitting a vintage style cardigan that my sister wants, and watching a Little House on the Prairie movie*. Once that was done I really didn’t know what to do with myself, I honestly thought things were about to kick off and we’d be on our way to hospital by late evening. Alas no, and for want of anything else to do I was tucked up in bed by 9:30!

I slept much better last night, and was wide awake by 6:30 this morning (which is always amazing as being wide awake any morning, at any time, does not come naturally to me!). The sun is shining (yesterday it was grey and raining), and it would be a great day for my boy to be born! However so far today I have no feeling whatsoever that labour is impending…

At least it is some comfort to know if he doesn’t arrive today then the process of evicting him begins tomorrow. I’d rather things went as naturally as possible, which they still might if they can break my waters tomorrow and the contractions start on their own. But to be honest if it turns out I need a bit more help, well so be it. It’s time, and my OH and I have had enough of this seemingly endless  waiting and are just ready to get on with the new challenge of parenthood. So the next time I blog I will be a real life proud mummy with a gorgeous little son!  I can’t wait!

* Years back, for my 30th, someone got me the box set of the entire Little House on the Prairie series. It was the best gift ever as it’s just kept on giving as I’ve been gradually watching them all over the years, and only now am I about to finish it. I do love a bit of old fashioned nostalgia, a good wholesome drama, always with some little moral thrown in. I fancy I would have loved to have lived back then, in such a place as Walnut Grove, with a simpler life, and friends and family in the local community. Of course life had a lot of hardships then too, which the series is never shy to show either.


Randomness to pass the time

Some random ramblings from me this morning.

So I was always a little freaked out at the idea of getting one of the linea negra lines on my belly. I didn’t think it would happen as my mother never got one.. But yup, you guessed it I did. Here it is in all its glory (I’ll make it a small image, no one needs to see my belly too big!):

My belly button is like completely flat now, but thankfully hasn’t really popped out. Incidentally I hear all babies have “outie” belly buttons these days, as the way they clamp/cut the cord now doesn’t create “innies”.

Everyone says my bump is quite small, and is quite compact, mostly all out at the front. Here it is 2 days ago: 

However if the scan predictions are correct baby should be probably between 7 1/2 – 8 lbs, so not small. We shall see.

Another reason I know it’s time for baby to arrive is a bunch of my maternity clothes are no longer comfortable! I haven’t been able to wear my over the bump maternity jeans for weeks, standing up they feel ok, but sitting down they just weren’t comfortable. Also one pair of my black maternity leggings ripped at the crotch! They weren’t cheap ones either so I wasn’t too impressed. I’m pretty much living in my Fitta Mamma yoga leggings ( which were the best buy ever, as I’ve worn them so much throughout the whole pregnancy, and not just for my Yogabellies class.

In other news I took a private test for Strep B a few weeks ago as they don’t test you as standard for it on the NHS in the UK, but I would highly recommend doing it. It only cost me £35. See Anyway turned out positive for me, which is not entirely unsurprising since about 1 in 5 of us have it. So that means they will give me antibiotics during labour which reduces the chance of me passing the infection to baby from 1 in 300 to 1 in 6000. They like to make sure you’ve had the antibiotics at least 4 hours before delivery, and will give every 4 hours. I was a bit freaked it might mean I couldn’t use the midwife led unit, but they said that is fine, I’ll just probably have to go in sooner rather than later during labour.

What else.. Have I mentioned the constant feeling of needing to go for a wee?! Like I was in town and suddenly felt desperate for the loo. So I waddled as fast as possible to some toilets and…. Nothing! It happens all the time, and usually if I just bear with the feeling it passes and the sensation goes, but it is somewhat disconcerting.

I think that’s all for now.. I need to go do some restless leg research as my OH is suffering from it badly and the meds the doctor gave to help seem to have stopped working so well the last week. Poor thing hardly got any sleep last night because of it.

Ready and Waiting…

So I finished work for maternity leave two weeks ago tomorrow. It was a great feeling as I’d gotten to the point I was ready to stop and rest. That week was quite tough as my heartburn induced cough got loads worse and I was hacking away all the time, feeling quite miserable, and worried how it might be affecting baby. Thankfully at my 38 week check up later that week my doctor finally prescribed me something stronger for the heartburn and I’ve not suffered from any since and my cough is almost gone now too, which is such a relief considering it started just before Xmas (although only mildly at first).  Unfortunately, then I came down with a cold.. I guess typical once work stress finishes and you relax. I was praying little one would not turn up yet as the idea of labouring feeling so grotty was not appealing, nor was having a big red nose for my first mummy pictures, and thankfully those prayers were answered!

Earlier this month we also finally got the delivery of the changing dresser we’d been waiting for (it was only 7 weeks later than the rest of the items we had ordered for delivery!). So we (well mostly OH) assembled that and then we could decide on the final furniture configuration for the nursery and put up the jungle wall decals we bought an age ago. And they are so great! We love them even more than we thought they would now that they are up. Here is what they look like:

So the nursery is now done as much as we planned to for the time being. We still want to change the curtains – probably to a green to match the leaves on the tree, and I saw these cute crochet monkey curtain tie-backs on etsy that I want! – and change the main bedroom light, but there is no rush. 

I’ve been spending the days resting, and tidying the house a little, and watching Grey’s Anatomy season 9 whilst knitting a baby’s blanket 😉  I’m feeling ready now. I’ll be last of my NCT group to give birth. I wanted little one to wait until at least this past Monday ideally, so then he’d be born in Chinese year of the monkey which I liked the idea of. But now that’s been and gone and I’ve told him any time now is good.  The waiting is weird.. Might it be tomorrow, the day after, or will it be next week? I’ve an acupuncture session on Thursday (my due date) and hopefully she can help get things moving if they haven’t by then. I will be induced on the 19th if he’s still a no show at that point. I think he’ll turn up before then though.  He has dropped a lot and I’ve been trying to take a walk every day and sit and bounce on my Pilates ball. I’m drinking raspberry leaf tea, and OH is helping with perennial massage (probably didn’t start this early enough, but I just couldn’t get the hang of it myself). I’m getting more braxton hicks, which are never painful, just a tightening of my belly. I didn’t used to notice them unless I put my hand on my stomach at the time, but now I can feel them without having to do that.  With every twinge I think “Is it starting?”. Every day OH crosses a day off the calendar.. One more day closer to meeting our son, one more day nearer to our dreams becoming a reality.

I’m 39 weeks and 5 days and I’m ready for our boy to make his grand entrance now. 

The Final Countdown

I know, I know, I’ve not blogged in ages. Again. All I can say is where do the hours in the day go?!

I just want to start this one by shouting from the rooftops, that I had a heartburn free night last night! Hallelujah! Never in the past would I have imagined what an amazing feeling it would be to have a whole nights sleep with only 2 toilet trips and no heartburn. Now it happens so rarely that I’m just almost overwhelmed with gladness when it does!

Other than the daily trial of heartburn I’m happy to report that my 3rd trimester has been going fantastically. After being in hospital after the complex faint at 29 weeks, I got the doctors to sign me off work for a week, and boy did that do me good! I don’t think I’d really fully appreciated how tired I was from all the problems sleeping until I stopped. I just rested for the whole week and since then I haven’t had an ounce of the light headedness that had been really frequent during weeks 24-29 or so, and no more ringing in the ears spells either.

Little one has been consistently measuring average on the scans. My bump was all neat and forward facing but I’ve started to fill out a little at the sides now as he runs out of space in there I guess. I also have got to the point I keep underestimating spaces I think I can get through, and now can’t due to bump! I have a 36 week scan next tuesday. If baby continues on track and I make it to 40 weeks then they say he might be almost 8lbs. We shall see, I hear mixed reports on how good the predictions are on weight from the scans.  Despite the complex faint, the consultant is still happy for me to use the midwifery led unit at the hospital for birth which I am so pleased about. I really want to have as natural a birth as possible.  OH and I had a tour of the unit this morning and it was really nice to get a feel for the place and see what was what. There are only 3 delivery rooms so fingers crossed one is free when it’s my time.

Thinking about labour I’ve decided mine is going to be amazing.  In the early 30 weeks I started to have a lot of apprehension about it all, but since then I’ve read Ina May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth, I’m almost finished Juju Sundin’s Birth Skills (thanks to Emily Maine for blogging about this one! It is great and OH and I have been practicing the skills in the book) and I’ve started listening to a Natal Hypnotherapy CD, and I’m feeling SO much more confident now. My body can do this, it was designed to do this, and I have a raft of things I know I can do to help the process, and keep calm and take my mind off the pain and hopefully stay drug free during the process.

It does seem strange in a way that in theory things could happen any day now.  I don’t think they will just yet mind, when I had acupunture last week she said baby wasn’t “cooked” quite yet as far as she could feel 🙂  I’d like to get to at least 39 weeks (when I will have finished work and have had a week off), but if little one did arrive we are technical ready in terms of everything we need to get us through the first month or so. Three of my NCT ladies have had their babies already (I’m the one with the last due date in the group) and on the online forum I’m on then a lot of ladies are new mummies already, so that makes it all so much more real that this is going to happen.. and soon!

I am feeling more emotional lately.. in a happy way. Like when I think about the birth and holding my baby for the first time it often just makes me well up with joy, and when I said goodbye to my parents when they came to stay for a few days just after new year, knowing next time I see them I’ll be a parent myself, that also got me going!

I’m only working 3 days a week now which is great, and I don’t think I could manage more. Last week I used the extra time to do a baby and child first aid course, and to have a lovely pregnancy massage. I also visited one of my NCT friends and held her sleeping little girl for an hour 🙂 Holding a 2 week old who was only  just over 7lbs did just make me think its a wonder how a baby that size does fit inside you.  No wonder I get so many wriggles and nudges these days as little one tries to stretch out in the limited area he has!

So I think thats me caught up as quickly as I can. Hopefully I’ll have a bit more time to blog the next couple weeks, before the big day.






An update from a hospital bed

I really don’t know how so many of you find the time to blog so frequently! I really want to but life seems so busy all the time that it just never happens. I love reading your posts and feel guilty I don’t share many. However I’m sitting in hospital just now with a lot of time to kill, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to write one.

So first to the hospital reason. After the funny ringing ears I mentioned in my last post, I had my iron levels checked and they were all ok and the doctor just thought it was one of those pregnancy things. Then 2 weeks ago I had a similar thing happen on a Sunday morning, I’d been up baking a cake (I tried a gluten free one.. The recipe claimed it would be so light and fluffy, but oh my goodness it turned out like a brick! Although didn’t taste too bad) and I was getting veg ready for lunch and it happened. That time I got really clammy and sweaty too, like I couldn’t believe how much it was running off me! Again doctor thought just to do with standing up for a while and blood struggling to pump around my body. I had a 28 week growth scan and consultant appointment this last Tuesday and all was good and the consultant wasn’t worried about the funny turns and was really pleased how everything is progressing.

Roll on yesterday and OH and I were on our way to our first child birth class when I came over funny again. I had to be fair been rushing around a bit in the morning, getting myself ready, getting dinner ready to cook in the slow cooker in the day, getting a packed lunch sorted (as our class was all day). This time though I got blurred vision as well as the ringing in my ears and sounds going all muffled, and I also blacked out and OH said my head rolled back and my eyes were wide and funny and my hands were twitching. It scared the absolute life out of him needless to state. He said I reminded him of a zombie in The Walking Dead! When I came to we rang the maternity assessment unit at the hospital and they said to come in for a check. When I got here and got out of the car I realised I’d obviously also lost control of my bowels during the black out. So grosse and so mortifying! Although I got cleaned up and changed into some of the, oh so lovely,hospital pants, I just felt so smelly and couldn’t wait until OH got back with some totally clean and fresh trousers for me (he had to go home to get stuff as they kept me in overnight).

So they’ve had me and baby hooked up to monitors, and did an ECG, and a CT scan, and I had a neurological assessment, and the only sign of anything amiss is some protein in my urine once when I first got here, but none since. So maybe it’s a sign of pre-eclampsia but I have no other symptoms than that and these funny turns. The neurology doctors thinks it is unlikely what I had was a seizure (very thankfully as if it was that they wouldn’t let me drive for up to 6 months!), and most likely was what he calls a complex faint, which is likely just one of those pregnancy things. It is a relief nothing wrong is found, and of course that baby is just fine, but a bit worrying not knowing if I might keeping having this kind of thing until baby arrives. Hopefully I get to go home this afternoon. This morning they moved me to a different, and thankfully quieter ward. I didn’t sleep much last night things were going on all around. Definitely a warning I need to slow down and take things more easy. Happily all the midwives and obstetricians have been great and looked after me marvellously, so I’m feeling very glad that I made this my hospital of choice for birth (I had 4 I could pick from).

Other than this I’m now in the third trimester, woop! Time just seems to be flying by. Baby B is measuring pretty average on all the things they check, and busy being an active little boy. I know any day soon I’m going to see a little foot or elbow poke out of my belly. I already see ripples of wriggling and can sometimes make out where his head or bottom is. I just love it 😉 my constant little companion 😉

Last week we got our car seat, pram and buggy travel system delivered (we’d ordered it at a baby show in London a few weeks back). Had such fun unpacking it and trying everything out! Today our cot and changing dresser should be being delivered. Then we can assemble that and also put up some jungle themed wall decals we got from etsy that are just darling. I hope to get a second hand nursing chair, and also need to sort out better curtains and a light, but then baby’s room will be pretty much done. I’d like to feel sorted by Xmas, so that January I can just relax and wait!

Currently planning to work until 27th jan, 2 weeks before my due date, but to use my new year’s holiday allowance to take 2 days off a week each week in January before that. I can carry some holiday over to 2017 and get paid for the rest of next year’s that I don’t use. I plan to try to take the whole year maternity leave that I’m entitled to. Money will be tight towards the end as so much savings went on treatment, but I don’t think I could bear leaving little one to go back to work earlier, and I’ve been looking forward to taking maternity leave for years!

Well I guess that’s me briefly up to date. I think it’s time for a nap!

Leave me breathless

There certainly have been things in pregnancy so far that have surprised me, and breathlessness is one of them.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew it could/would happen, just perhaps somewhat naively I thought it wouldn’t be until the third trimester. I am not sure if it is all pregnancy related, or because I’ve not been as good at staying fit as I should have, but this past week I can’t even seem to walk 5 minutes without it hitting me, especially if there is anything resembling a hill in there! I’m going to mention it next week when I have a GP check up, just to be sure it is normal like this at this stage.

I’ve also had some light headedness this past week. I went out at lunch from work last Wednesday, to walk about 10 mins to a place for lunch and 10 mins back, and I really didn’t feel right. Not dizzy but a little light headed. I was concentrating on my breathing and on the way back had to stop and sit at a bus stop for a minute. I contemplated going home early but I had a fairly easy afternoon so I didn’t in the end and got through it ok.  Then on Saturday, after breakfast I went into town for a hair cut. I parked in an underground car park and had to walk up one flight of stairs to ground level and I started to feel light headed again. I thought I’d had time before the appointment to swing into a department store to pick up some make up I wanted, and I started to get ringing ears and sounds were going all distant. I had to sit on one of the stools they have for ladies having a makeover, and a member of staff came over to check I was ok. Actually several people did, wanted to know if I wanted a first aider etc! They brought me some water and after a couple minutes I was fine again.

I also read this kind of thing is really common, but it is disconcerting and I wonder if it didn’t help that I hadn’t drunk that much? I will again be mentioning it to my GP just to check. It does make me generally a bit nervous about when it might hit again.

I hit the magic 24 weeks tomorrow! It feels like more of a milestone than 20 weeks to me, as although there is no associated scan, I know if little one did come this early (heaven forbid!) there would be a chance of survival in ICU.  That is just reassuring to know.

In other news lots of my previous cycle buddies from May/June who had BFN’s are cycling again now. Several have sadly got BFN’s again already, and I’m so gutted for them. I really hope there are some BFP’s amongst those left to test. Last year after my first IVF, by this point several had gone on to get BFP’s on subsequent tries. It’s such a hard journey at times, and I never stop feeling so lucky and blessed that this time worked for me.

Some days are better off over…

I’m usually a pretty steady person hormonally, I’ve never had much problem with PMT, and all during pregnancy I’ve been feeling happy and very stable, with no mood swings or ups and downs. Until today.

The day started fine, with breakfast outside at the lovely hotel we were at for one night near to Saint Paul de Vence in France (a little north of Nice). We leave about 10.30 or a little before for the long days drive to near Grenoble. The car sat nav wants to take us a different way to what we’d planned (a more scenic mountain pass route), so we ignore that, and try to use the printed out google maps that we sorted before our holiday.

Issue no.1: the printed maps are rubbish. They give you road numbers or names but not the direction of the place name you are turning towards. The French signs on the other hand seem to either give no road number, or a different number to what Google said, and whilst they give a place they go to, that isn’t much help. We get lost in a town one way system quite quickly. OH is then busting for the loo which is never good as with his MS as he just can’t hold it in and wait like you might normally be able to do. Thankfully some nice person in a shop by a very small petrol station lets him use the staff toilet. 5 mins later whilst we’ve tried to work out where the hell we are and see if we can do better at programming sat nav to go the way we want, baby is sat on my bladder and I decide I’d better go to the loo too before we set off again only…

Issue no.2:  the lady I speak to wont let me use the staff toilet, despite me indicating my bump. I don’t know enough French to properly plead my case. Toilet issues continue all day as I need to wee so much these days and toilets in the mountain passes are very few and far between. So I spend a lot of the day feeling very uncomfortable trying to hold it in. First tears occur when we park up in some tiny place about 11:30 where it looks like there should be a toilet and we can’t initially find it (we do eventually). I am not normally a crying person but today all I wanted to do was sob!

Issue no.3: i didn’t eat properly today.. After a yummy big breakfast I just wasn’t hungry for ages, then there just weren’t many food options and I got a bit past it and just wanted to get to our destination as fast as possible. Note to self, one apple, a bag of crisps, a breakfast bar with yoghurt in, and one cashew bar is NOT enough to fuel me from 10am to 8pm. I was shaking with hunger by the time we ate. Should have gone to find a MCDonalds or something after we checked in to tonight’s hotel about 5:30 and realised we couldn’t eat until 8pm (the French eat late), only I just couldn’t face getting back in the car. When I looked at the menu though, nothing took my fancy and I just wanted to cry again. Thankfully once I did choose something it was ok, and far healthier than a mcDonalds would have been!

Issue no.4: practically 7 hours in the car was too long. It was only 196 miles but just took so long with all the mountain roads and the getting lost detour. We’d only planned for it taking about 5 (what the Google printed maps had said). We did take stretching stops for me, but it was too long.

The consequence of all the above is I was just not in a pretty state this evening and was just in floods of tears. I wouldn’t normally be this emotional, despite all the issues, so I guess I can thank pregnancy hormones for that! I just couldn’t pull myself together even when I wanted to, all I could do was let the tears roll down my face. I’m feeling a bit better now I’ve eaten, but I still can’t wait to sleep and put this crappy day behind me! I hope I don’t have any more days feeling like this because it’s no fun feeling so rubbish!