Leave me breathless

There certainly have been things in pregnancy so far that have surprised me, and breathlessness is one of them.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew it could/would happen, just perhaps somewhat naively I thought it wouldn’t be until the third trimester. I am not sure if it is all pregnancy related, or because I’ve not been as good at staying fit as I should have, but this past week I can’t even seem to walk 5 minutes without it hitting me, especially if there is anything resembling a hill in there! I’m going to mention it next week when I have a GP check up, just to be sure it is normal like this at this stage.

I’ve also had some light headedness this past week. I went out at lunch from work last Wednesday, to walk about 10 mins to a place for lunch and 10 mins back, and I really didn’t feel right. Not dizzy but a little light headed. I was concentrating on my breathing and on the way back had to stop and sit at a bus stop for a minute. I contemplated going home early but I had a fairly easy afternoon so I didn’t in the end and got through it ok.  Then on Saturday, after breakfast I went into town for a hair cut. I parked in an underground car park and had to walk up one flight of stairs to ground level and I started to feel light headed again. I thought I’d had time before the appointment to swing into a department store to pick up some make up I wanted, and I started to get ringing ears and sounds were going all distant. I had to sit on one of the stools they have for ladies having a makeover, and a member of staff came over to check I was ok. Actually several people did, wanted to know if I wanted a first aider etc! They brought me some water and after a couple minutes I was fine again.

I also read this kind of thing is really common, but it is disconcerting and I wonder if it didn’t help that I hadn’t drunk that much? I will again be mentioning it to my GP just to check. It does make me generally a bit nervous about when it might hit again.

I hit the magic 24 weeks tomorrow! It feels like more of a milestone than 20 weeks to me, as although there is no associated scan, I know if little one did come this early (heaven forbid!) there would be a chance of survival in ICU.  That is just reassuring to know.

In other news lots of my previous cycle buddies from May/June who had BFN’s are cycling again now. Several have sadly got BFN’s again already, and I’m so gutted for them. I really hope there are some BFP’s amongst those left to test. Last year after my first IVF, by this point several had gone on to get BFP’s on subsequent tries. It’s such a hard journey at times, and I never stop feeling so lucky and blessed that this time worked for me.


Some days are better off over…

I’m usually a pretty steady person hormonally, I’ve never had much problem with PMT, and all during pregnancy I’ve been feeling happy and very stable, with no mood swings or ups and downs. Until today.

The day started fine, with breakfast outside at the lovely hotel we were at for one night near to Saint Paul de Vence in France (a little north of Nice). We leave about 10.30 or a little before for the long days drive to near Grenoble. The car sat nav wants to take us a different way to what we’d planned (a more scenic mountain pass route), so we ignore that, and try to use the printed out google maps that we sorted before our holiday.

Issue no.1: the printed maps are rubbish. They give you road numbers or names but not the direction of the place name you are turning towards. The French signs on the other hand seem to either give no road number, or a different number to what Google said, and whilst they give a place they go to, that isn’t much help. We get lost in a town one way system quite quickly. OH is then busting for the loo which is never good as with his MS as he just can’t hold it in and wait like you might normally be able to do. Thankfully some nice person in a shop by a very small petrol station lets him use the staff toilet. 5 mins later whilst we’ve tried to work out where the hell we are and see if we can do better at programming sat nav to go the way we want, baby is sat on my bladder and I decide I’d better go to the loo too before we set off again only…

Issue no.2:  the lady I speak to wont let me use the staff toilet, despite me indicating my bump. I don’t know enough French to properly plead my case. Toilet issues continue all day as I need to wee so much these days and toilets in the mountain passes are very few and far between. So I spend a lot of the day feeling very uncomfortable trying to hold it in. First tears occur when we park up in some tiny place about 11:30 where it looks like there should be a toilet and we can’t initially find it (we do eventually). I am not normally a crying person but today all I wanted to do was sob!

Issue no.3: i didn’t eat properly today.. After a yummy big breakfast I just wasn’t hungry for ages, then there just weren’t many food options and I got a bit past it and just wanted to get to our destination as fast as possible. Note to self, one apple, a bag of crisps, a breakfast bar with yoghurt in, and one cashew bar is NOT enough to fuel me from 10am to 8pm. I was shaking with hunger by the time we ate. Should have gone to find a MCDonalds or something after we checked in to tonight’s hotel about 5:30 and realised we couldn’t eat until 8pm (the French eat late), only I just couldn’t face getting back in the car. When I looked at the menu though, nothing took my fancy and I just wanted to cry again. Thankfully once I did choose something it was ok, and far healthier than a mcDonalds would have been!

Issue no.4: practically 7 hours in the car was too long. It was only 196 miles but just took so long with all the mountain roads and the getting lost detour. We’d only planned for it taking about 5 (what the Google printed maps had said). We did take stretching stops for me, but it was too long.

The consequence of all the above is I was just not in a pretty state this evening and was just in floods of tears. I wouldn’t normally be this emotional, despite all the issues, so I guess I can thank pregnancy hormones for that! I just couldn’t pull myself together even when I wanted to, all I could do was let the tears roll down my face. I’m feeling a bit better now I’ve eaten, but I still can’t wait to sleep and put this crappy day behind me! I hope I don’t have any more days feeling like this because it’s no fun feeling so rubbish!

Catch up after going AWOL

Well it’s been quite a while since I last blogged! I have no real excuse, although the WordPress app on my iPad is busted for some reason and I haven’t been able to use it in weeks, and that hasn’t helped matters. However OH and I are currently on our hols, and today I have some time so thought I ought to do a catch up.

We are on a driving holiday through France, Switzerland and Italy. In the new car (Izzy) of course! Currently in Italy on the Ligurian coast. We’ve had two busy days of sightseeing, but today, despite the fact that it has been raining and overcast (the risk of travelling at this time of year!), we needed a chill out day. This is currently my view from our hotel terrace.


We we are in the town of Camogli, which is just a little east of Genova.

My pregnancy has been progressing fine. The wait between the 12 week and 20 week scan felt like an age though and it was so reassuring to hear Baby B’s heartbeat at my 16 week midwife appointment. She told me given my size I should start to feel kicks very soon after.

I’m on an online pregnancy board for ladies due between Jan and Feb 2016. A lot of ladies had been feeling kicks for ages, and it was easy to forget many of them were 4-5 weeks ahead of me, and I was so impatient to start feeling my little one too. I knew for some people it can take an age (a good friend – who is possibly about to give birth today! – didn’t feel her little one until about 22 weeks). Everyone was telling me to look out for like little flutters, or a bubbling feeling, but if I had those I didn’t notice it. When it finally happened, I was 18 weeks, 5 days, it was about 10:45 in the morning and I was working from home on a conference call, when all of a sudden, Thump! Followed by thump, thump, thump! I had about 6-7 little jabs on my left side (from my perspective.. So my heart side), low down below my belly button. There was no way it was anything else apart from little one making his presence known! I was so excited, I had to immediately send OH a Skype message (we both use Skype a lot in our jobs), “I JUST FELT BABY B KICK!”  What’s funny is for days after that, although I felt movement and little kicks, they were no where near as obvious or pronounced as that first time. It was like he had to just be very clear in declaring for the initial time that he was active and no doubt about it 😉

Now I’m coming up to 22 weeks and the kicks are stronger and more frequent. When I get back from hols I’m going to download the count the kicks app on my phone to start tracking them. He’s pretty regular at kicking about 7:30/8 at night, but other than that I haven’t spotted any clear pattern for the rest of the day yet. Everytime it happens I just love it though!  OH got to feel the kicks too at 19weeks and 2 days, that was a special moment.

Our 20 week scan was just the day before our hols and all was fine. Although there was no reason to suspect any problems, it was still a big relief (just the other day one of the forum ladies found out at her 20 week scan that her baby hadn’t made it.. I felt so overwhelmingly sad for her.. Just can’t imagine how awful that must be). My consultant isn’t going to keep me on clexane, which my clinic had recommended I stayed on, but I felt happy with her explanation. Also she explained that towards the end of pregnancy it is natural for our blood to get thicker and have a clotting tendency, as it’s our body’s way of preventing haemorrhaging during birth.

I’ll be having my next scan at 28 weeks, then 32, then 36.

My bump really seems to have gotten loads bigger whilst on holiday. I’ve read it grows by 1-2cm a week now, but I’m sure this past week has been faster. I think OH rolls his eyes a bit each morning as I exclaim that I’m sure it’s bigger than the day before! I’ll have to post a pic from my phone when I blog next, I don’t have any on my iPad. My belly button is very very shallow now, soon it will be flat! I’m surprised that already it is not so easy to do things like bend over and put shoes on. I thought that wouldn’t happen for quite a few weeks yet.

Heartburn has been kicking off more this week, although thankfully not every day, and a popping a rennie always sorts it out. This week baby starts to taste apparently, and what better way to get started than on italian food!  Being here I have really missed being able to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, or an afternoon Aperol spritzer when sat in the afternoon sun (on the days it has been sunny). Of course it’s totally worth it, but I have had a sneaky sip or two of OH’s wine at times, I’m sure a tiny bit does no harm.

Oh.. He’s kicking now 😉

That’s all for now, but I will try to get back to posting more regularly.